In the past week I have realised something really quite huge: I care far too much.
I spend so much of my time and energy focused on other people. I’m constantly wondering if the people around me are happy, wondering if they’re doing okay, worrying if I’m annoying them or being too quiet… you get the gist; my thoughts revolve around other people.
And that’s great. I love the fact that my friends and family know they can always rely on me, I love being able to comfort them if needed. But there’s a dark side to caring so much about other people: you forget to care about yourself.
I can’t remember the last time I did something entirely selfish, something that was just for me and my happiness. Because the thing is, I’ve never really needed to focus on my own mental and emotional state. I’ve always been a relatively stable person, but over the past few years that stability that so many people rely on has started to slip. I can’t help but think it’s because I’ve been neglecting myself.
So, I’ve come to a decision: I’m going to stop caring so much. Of course, I don’t mean that I’m going to start being horrible and selfish, but I am going to start turning my phone off, giving myself a bit of ‘me’ time.
Sometimes, we all just need time alone. We, as humans, are social creatures; we don’t like being alone for too long, we automatically gravitate towards people that we feel a social connection with. But sometimes, its quite nice to just be alone. It’s healthy, in fact, to be alone sometimes. We aren’t superhuman, we aren’t robots, we can’t constantly be aware of people around us and how they think and feel. Mainly because it’s impossible, but also because it’s not healthy and it’s exhausting. Have you ever tried to please everyone at once? It’s fucking impossible, believe me.
So, let’s all make a pact: once a week, we will take a day to be selfish, to do what we want to do, to take care of ourselves. Because caring about other people is all well and good, but caring about yourself is definitely more important.
girl with all the words. x